New Things

We had a MEND meeting on Thursday. It happened to be a small group this month, but it was a nice one. This meeting had a couple of "firsts" for me. First, As we opened the meeting up and started our intros, The first woman to go mentioned that she lost her son 9 years ago from as lethal form of dwarfism. This immediately caught my attention. I have yet to meet another family who has lost their child to some type of skeletal dysplasia. Then I was the last one and said "I'm Melissa. I have a 7yrs old daughter at home, Halley, and our 2nd daughter, Lauren, was born on June 17, 2011 and passed away on July 2nd, 2011 due to complications atising from Campomelic Dysplasia. Then, I got asked what Campomelic Dysplasia is.. Was it a type of dwarfism? I answered yes and the 1st woman chimed in. I was so thankful for this. I told her I was curious as to which type her son had, which turned out to be Thanatophoric Dysplasia. I felt an immediate connection and strength, and for the first time, I told Lauren's story. It was a brief version of everything we went through but I got it out there. I felt so amazing to be able to talk to some who understood what I was talking about. Having MEND has been great for me, it has really been helping with my depression. There is so many other mothers who feel my pain, we can talk openly about it, and walk out of that room feeling refreshed because we got it all out. But this time was different. I found someone who I connected with on another level.

We ended up talking about her story and mine for a little while in front of everyone, then decided we should open the group discussion to everyone since we took up so much time. But this was the first time I met someone who had a situation close to mine since it is so rare. She said she met a few other people through MEND that has been through something very similar, but it was such a nice feeling to meet one.

MEND continued on with our meeting, which I continued to cry as someone thanked Rebekah for everything she has done. I feel the same way. I don't know how dark of a place I would be if my doctor hadn't referred me to MEND. I really don't ever see myself not going anymore. I know I will always feel comforted by these women who understand me.

So last night, we went to find the Angel Tree Drive in the Parks Mall. We searched the 3 trees and had no luck finding a baby around Lauren's age. I decided that we would either just choose the youngest, which seemed to be 4 years old, or a 6 year old since Lauren would be turning 6 months old in the next week. Then I remembered another baby loss mommy mentioning that she asked someone for help. So I went to the table and asked them if they happened to know the youngest child available. They said they had newborns, but I hadn't seen any. Then they said they had some returned to them, that were not adopted after all, and they had what I was looking for. I asked for a baby girl who was 5 or 6 mos old. We received a little girl named Juliette who is 5 mos old. We are going to go shopping tonight for her and try to give her a nice little Christmas. This is definetly a tradition I want to continue but, this morning morning I am already a blubbering mess. I hope I can find the strength to buy for this little baby. We are doing this in Honor of our daughter for Christmas, so I know I can do this, I just know I am going to get strange looks as I am walking down the aisles in tears... O Well...

ANDDD We are going to go decorate for Lauren tonight, which I am excited for. She deserves to have all the Christmas decorations we have & more!! Also, the funeral home called me Thursday and told me the bench we ordered came in! :) They aren't going to be laying it until next week, but we are going there today for a Christmas ceremony they are doing, so they said I can get a little sneak peak at it. We are so excited about that!

One other thing I wanted to mention on this post today was regarding a friend. A very close one. About a week ago, she suffered a miscarriage. She wasn't completely open with her pregnancy, in fact it took her a while to tell me, since she figured I would be hurt by this. I was happy for her. I have so much love for her I could never be unhappy for her, no matter what the situation is. But sadly, she did loose her child. I just want to openly say: I am truly sorry. As Dr. Seuss says "A person's a person, no matter how small." I know you are hurting and even with my own grief, I am hurting for you. I love you and hope that if you ever need to talk, you know I am always here for you.