June 17th was a hard day this year. A year ago when I imagined Lauren's 1st birthday, I imagined tons of laughter, presents, an awesome party, and spending precious time with my baby girl. I thought I would have experienced her 1st milestones - her teeth growing in, taking her first steps, and even brushing her hair and dressing her! Nothing came out as I expected when I first found out about her growing inside of me. As strong as I tried to be on her birthday, I still broke down. The entire week before was exhausting. I went through another no sleep phase. I was crying every night again. Planning her birthday party was just not as joyful as I would have liked, but I still wanted to make sure she had one. I know that even if no one chose to be with us on that day, the three of us would have been still celebrating her. To be honest, I was not sure what everyone would think of having a birthday party for her - but I have never been one to care what others think, so I still made an evite and sent it out. We chose to have her party at the cemetery. Where she is buried, it is mostly empty, so we knew we would not be crowding anyone. Plus the 2 plots next to Lauren are ours as well. There is also a large covered area pretty close to where Lauren is, and we thought with the Texas June heat, it would be pretty decent. We had subway catered, my best friend my Lauren's cake, and my family even brought gifts! I completely did not expect any gifts and I thought it was just the sweetest thing! Everyone ate, I brought the scrapbook I made for Lauren so everyone was looking through that, we sang Happy Birthday to her, ate cake, open presents, and did a balloon release! Having so many people around to express their love and support was just the best way we could have celebrated. I know that Lauren felt all the love around her! Thank you so much to everyone that came out and spent Lauren's birthday with us celebrating her life! Looking back, I got to give her a birthday with a great party, presents, laughter, and a lot of love. <3
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