Journey to Rainbow

Some months ago I made a post about TTC and trying out fertility drugs for the first time. I know a lot of people will have the TMI reaction, but those people do no have to read this entry. Plus I am not giving all the gory details ;) :)

To recap:

October 2013 - Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel shot - that was a BFN.

November 2013 - Clomid 150mg + Ovidrel shot - that was also a BFN.

I found out that the Clomid made my lining way to thin so I would not be able to continue on Clomid. In addition, it was Christmas time and the cost of seeing my RE, ultrasounds, Clomid, Ovidrel, etc. was getting pretty costly, so we chose to stop seeing the RE for a couple of months and give my body a break. Of course we kept TTC on our own, but had no success.

After we had something significant happen, we were down and really wanting things to move forward with us trying to get pregnant. After getting our finances in order, we were ready to go back to the RE.

In March 2014, the RE decided to start me on Femara + Bravelle Injections + Ovidrel. This month we decided that we were going to go for an IUI since fertility drugs and TI was not giving us our BFP. I was happy I have such a helpful husband who made sure to give me my injections for me. When I went for my CD12 scan I became extremely discouraged due to the number and size of my follicles, but I did not want to give up. We decided to still move forward and on March 29th I went for my IUI. I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Well awkward and funny. This was not my ideal way of TTC, but I mean, at this point, I do not care how it happens! Just that it does. Our post wash was not was great number, but the motility was higher and it was still something we could use. Believe me there is nothing like having a doctor between your legs, inserting little baby-makers in you, and then laying you almost upside down for 15 mins. I was pretty much sending pictures and giggling from the conversations I was having with my friends and sisters. I did not have the highest expectations that this would work the first time, but I wanted to make sure we were trying everything we can. I was very thankful to have 4 friends and my sisters constantly asking me for an update and hoping for good news throughout my TWW. They always kept my spirits up. Well, March ended in another BFN.

I recently went back to my RE for my April cycle. This month we are trying another round of Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel + IUI. I am a little worried this month because they did find a cyst in my right ovary, but they said I can still continue to TTC. The RE said it should not effect my chances or effect follicles from growing. I start my Femara tonight.

I am going to try and stay positive this month since it is Cycle #32 on our TTC our Rainbow Journey and I am hoping we will get our BFP soon.  

Disclaimer: Before anyone comments or messages me, the things you do not want to tell someone who struggles with TTC is that "it will happen", "it will happen when you least expect it". "don't think about it", or anything along those lines. There is no possible way to NOT think about trying to have a baby, when you want one the most, and when it has been such a long time with no positives. I do know it will happen for us eventually. I do know that. I cannot wait for that time to be here. But after 2 1/2 years of TTC we are done waiting for it to happen and are done with the natural method. So it is our personal choice that seeking additional help and taking fertility medications is in our best interest. We know not everyone has these struggles and not everyone believes in seeking alternative methods to help with conceiving, but please do not judge us for wanting to make things happen for our family, as I would not judge you for not seeking the same methods as we have chosen. Thanks!